Monday, February 11, 2008

"Choose" revisions


I'm looking forward to continuing work on this piece - I love the general idea -- Illustration Friday was very inspiring for me this week!! But, having time to think about it has been good because I've figured out problems with it and ways to address them. Overall, at first take, I feel that the story could be mistaken for a girl looking at a framed picture in a museum, instead of at clothing in a storefront window. You get that it is a storefront after a minute, but it's something I think will benefit from revision.

Specific things to address:

1) Window doesn't look 'windowy' enough, looks a lot like a framed picture
(not addressed in picture above)

Solution: Create separate visible panels with seams, and also design the window frame to look less like a picture frame, and more like a store front. But keep some 'fun' in it.

2) Sidewalk needs to look more like an actual sidewalk
Solution: Activate the sidewalk space with things you'd see on a sidewalk. I might have to rework a few things to keep balance in the composition (i.e. the tree, which I like, needs to be workied into composition)

3) The mannequins could be mistaken for actual children - they are too close to my children's style to stand apart as mannequins. But in my attempt to make them look mannequiny, they ended up looking like just a stiff version of my kid style, instead of like mannequins.
Solution: I need to come up with a 'mannequin' style that is discernible as an actual kid mannequin, but make sure it is cute, as well.

4) I am not nuts about the name of the shop
(not addressed in picture above)
Solution: Simple - just change it! ;)

9 comments:

Kathleen Rietz said...

You're awesome Kathy. This is why you will continue to be successful and grow as an artist! I love the additions you are considering for the piece. I thnk it will add so much life to the story.

Archie and Melissa said...

I love to see your process!
It is fun to read your observations and solutions. They are positive and enthusiastic. It is obvious you love what you do.

nicole falk said...

OMG! i loooved this illo to begin with and WOW i love the changes you are gong to make..its wonderful to see a process like this..

Unknown said...

I really like this picture. It's so interesting to read your thought process on making and perfecting pictures.

ellencrimitrent said...

hi Kathy,

I am still sick but not as bad, bummed I missed SCBWI! but what can you do.

I have a solution for you, maybe you need to show more perspective in the window itself, such as the depth of the window display rather than a flat picture.

and throw in some shadows etc. Just a thought! cute illustration though and I would go full tilt on color too or wash in color kind of like what you did.
You know not in the lines but out a bit and wash it here and there for fun!!

Don't you just love critics!!! ha ha.

Ellen

Anonymous said...

this reminds me of the "crits" we used to sit thru at Mass Art....so ...since you asked...

I think it needs to look more like an actual store front and window...somehow now it appears to be a frame with the curly edges...and a name change to make it more like a store name would go far to send the message that it is store..maybe a SALE sign in the window...?? making her choose between the sale item and the full price item...

anyhow, it is very cute so I think you are 90% of the way there...fun project to do.

hope you are staying warm over there...we have had so much wind and snow squalls...weird time of year.

take care,
best,
carol

Unknown said...

ey, thanks for all the comments, everyone!! I'll be tackling this just as soon as I am able.

Ta - Ta for now!! :)
Kathy

Unknown said...

Oh, forgot to mention I really appreciate your feedback as well. Great thoughts and ideas for improving this piece!! Thanks!! Please come back to see the final!!

Kathy

Anonymous said...

This is so neat, Kathy, and so inspiring too, to see how you develop your illustrations!
I can't wait to see the final piece!