Guess what world? I've finally learned something. I can't do everything at once. I've also learned that I CAN make decisions about what I which avenues I choose to further develop my creative career, and what I in turn have to give up in order to make that happen. Because there are only so many hours in the day, days in a week, weeks in a month and months in a year.
Though I am young at heart (and certainly not old in body) I am at a point in my life experience when I'm feeling an almost magnetic-like pull propelling me toward further development in specific areas... and, at the same time, I also am keenly aware of time tick-tick-ticking away. You just can't get those minutes back, once they're gone. Maybe this has much to do with my mothers' massive stroke this year—a complete wake-up call in so many ways... or turning forty this past June. Maybe it's a combination of things. But I know that I can't move forward any longer without making decisions. The hard decisions. Some things have "got to go" in order for me to move forward in other areas.
I once heard a quote about being a mom. It went something like "You can have it all, you just can't have it all at the same time." Though I am not a mom to any human beings, I have always been a mom to my own creative spirit, and in all honestly, my creative spirit has needed a fair amount of 'mothering' at several points in my life. I'm happy to say I've 'come through' for it thus far, at this point on my journey.
Anyhow, this quote really resonated with me—I've long felt this way about the various creative avenues which, over the years, I have pursued from time to time. I've undertaken many avenues because I really enjoy trying different ways to push my own artwork forward—to see what develops, what can I share, what can I learn, and how far I can take it. And when I feel the desire to try something, I just need to try it, go for it, "rent it out" for awhile to see if it is something that will grow. I give it my all and I give it some time. But eventually, some of these avenues have grown louder than others. They not only have become more demanding in general, but more importantly, they're where my interest is more and more focused. They are where my fire and passions continue to grow. They have become my plots of land, and I now find myself wanting to devote all my allotted time and energy to building on them alone. Because there's only so much time in a day, days in a week, weeks in a month, months in a year.
When the demands of my plots of land collide with the demands of my rentals, it's time to face things and make decisions. I guess it's time to be my own landlord.